“Where’s my home?” He said nothing when I clearly expected a reply. He silently handed me a newspaper with an ad on the front side that said “home is where the heart is”. All I could do in response to that was stupidly gape back, because he had answered all my questions in that single gesture.
My question lies in the word “home”. What’s a home to a girl who has to leave her parents one day? I lived with my parents for twenty three years of my life. That little home was the entire world for me. I’m not a very social person and I don’t have many friends either. For me, my parents, my family was everything. Then came the day when I signed the nikkah papers. I knew it at that very moment that things will, definitely, take a drastic change. The first thing I asked my uncle after signing was, ‘uncle, is this it? Does it take only three signatures to change everything? Even my home, the place I live? Even my parents’ right on me?’ My uncle had no answer. He just hugged me tight and cried with me.
Every time I think of a home, I am reminded of a place where there is a mother. I realize the nest that a mother makes. She makes everything so comfortable for her children. The world is a perfect place for most people when they’re under her protection. Then, suddenly, it’s time for one of the children to leave the nest. The child has to leave. Why? Because this is a social norm. What happens to the “home” that child had been living in for all that while?
Though I’m certainly not of the view that the system should be the other way round, but I’m compelled to ask why it is always the girl who leaves her parents. Why it is her who is told to tear away from her loved ones and settles in a totally different lifestyle? Other than that, the guy should not, in any way, take for granted the sacrifice she makes for him, for something that is only customary. It may be customary, and it has been practiced for years and years of civilizations, but that doesn’t lessen the pain in any way.
I’m just so teary eyed as I write this. It’s just that, the word “home” brings up so many questions in my mind. I guess that’s all for now. I’ll let you guys do the talking now.
Till next time fellas!
ouch!
ReplyDeleteyou know even that pain of bearing a child only women face. good question. why women?
and practically speaking, as of now, most COUPLES wedded or not stay away from their parents :)
umm let me see if I could possibly deny this.
ReplyDeleteNo, I cannot completely deny what you just said. But its not always true. 3 simple signatures in your case and "saat phere" in ours means the oneness of two bodies and souls. It should have nothing to do with parents of either side.
Your parents will always be yours and are now his parents too, just like you would call his parents as your 'Ammi' and 'Abbu'(I am not quite sure of that, but I guess what I intend to say is clear).
And just for a change, in India, in the north eastern state of Meghalaya, girls stay, and boys have to leave their home when they get married.
And indeed, home is where the heart resides. :)
Regards
Blasphemous Aesthete