“Where’s my home?” He said nothing when I clearly expected a reply. He silently handed me a newspaper with an ad on the front side that said “home is where the heart is”. All I could do in response to that was stupidly gape back, because he had answered all my questions in that single gesture.
My question lies in the word “home”. What’s a home to a girl who has to leave her parents one day? I lived with my parents for twenty three years of my life. That little home was the entire world for me. I’m not a very social person and I don’t have many friends either. For me, my parents, my family was everything. Then came the day when I signed the nikkah papers. I knew it at that very moment that things will, definitely, take a drastic change. The first thing I asked my uncle after signing was, ‘uncle, is this it? Does it take only three signatures to change everything? Even my home, the place I live? Even my parents’ right on me?’ My uncle had no answer. He just hugged me tight and cried with me.
Every time I think of a home, I am reminded of a place where there is a mother. I realize the nest that a mother makes. She makes everything so comfortable for her children. The world is a perfect place for most people when they’re under her protection. Then, suddenly, it’s time for one of the children to leave the nest. The child has to leave. Why? Because this is a social norm. What happens to the “home” that child had been living in for all that while?
Though I’m certainly not of the view that the system should be the other way round, but I’m compelled to ask why it is always the girl who leaves her parents. Why it is her who is told to tear away from her loved ones and settles in a totally different lifestyle? Other than that, the guy should not, in any way, take for granted the sacrifice she makes for him, for something that is only customary. It may be customary, and it has been practiced for years and years of civilizations, but that doesn’t lessen the pain in any way.
I’m just so teary eyed as I write this. It’s just that, the word “home” brings up so many questions in my mind. I guess that’s all for now. I’ll let you guys do the talking now.
Till next time fellas!
awwwww mehrrrrr
ReplyDelete*hugszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
Amazing post =) Something I've been thinking about for a while now. Why is it always the girl. This thought popped up when I heard my sister would be leaving home in a couple of months. I was happy to have the room for myself at first when I was a kid :P But now that thought made me feel like Oh no I don't want her to leave home like that It got me all worried and I've started asking my sisters fiancé to come and live with us rather! :D
ReplyDeleteBut every girl has to leave home someday... All she can do is carry the joy she received at home to the place she goes! Maybe someday I'll have to do that too. :-|
But still, Why is it always a girl. :-(
I loved this post! :)
Keep writing.
Mehreen,
ReplyDeleteRead 2 posts now as well as navigated to link given fo related older post. Child labour can not be curbed unless there is mass awakening as well as provision of right to living by respective governments and society. Now coming to this post. It is absolutely true that HOME is where HEART is. We have evolved from MIGHT IS RIGHT herds to present society with some norms. The strongest of the herd used to take over as leader of the herd and could do what he pleased. He could even throw out his own father or grandfather as they had no inkling of relationships. I need not say that procreation took place without any thoughts of who mates whom. As mankind started walking erect from four legged posture of their predcessors their intelligence too increased. Thus certain norms were set to live in amicable way in a herd which we now call soiety. There are mostly patriarchal society and few matriarchal ones too. Why the former are more is as women were or even now are prone to be taken advantage of by strong male if found alone. So these norms of girl after marriage moving to the house of her husband started. I have written a post in 3 parts in OCT - Nov last year on Happy Family Life or so. Please do read those and let me know your views on that. Please start with Part I and go on thereafter.
Oh, long sermon.
Take care
Its very painful...
ReplyDeleteBut then, i guess times are changing..!!
:)
Yes, it is really very sad...I have wondered so many times...why cant it be the guy?
ReplyDeleteHUGS!! :)
I love you! *Hugs*
ReplyDeleteI just hope u feel better soon (:
i know what you mean honey and there is something else to about home - it is where you can be you without that thought bubble pooping up stating 'shux is this the right way to do it? am i doing it right? is this it? what should i do now ....' yes home is the comfort - the place you can breathe and be!
ReplyDeleteWhy is it always the girl?
ReplyDeleteMaybe cos guys are not strong enuf to acept the change like grls do!
sweet post.. reminded me too of home.. Its been 11 years since I've properly stayed at home. studies as a UG and then a PG have ensured no time to travel and stay for more than one week at a time.. what hurts most is watching ur family age and knowing you've missed out on crucial years of their lives..
ReplyDeleteHi Mehreen,
ReplyDeletegood to see you back here:)
Its very hard to answer your question.
But may be it is so, becoz, emotionally, girls are way too stronger than men and as you said, its a Mother's nest! Girls know the art of creating homes, men do not.
The reason womankind is called "Shakti" is their inner strength. I respect the womankind for the sacrifices they make in Life.
Love and Peace,
Rahul
a good post indeed.
ReplyDelete